Sorry, I cared
by WI is AWESOME
Summary: An OOC Prussia tells Spain everything he's sorry for. Everything he regrets. PrussiaxSpain


**A/N: Um first story uploaded. If you don't like, don't comment please. If you review my story, I will review one of yours! Oh and I don't own Hetalia, nor do I own this whole I'm sorry thing. If you invented it, you have credit! Danke for reading!**

_I'm sorry  
that I bought you roses  
to tell you that I like you_

I'm sorry that I'm not good enough with words to say I love you. I'd probably end up saying 'I love my awesome self'. So I'm sorry I didn't want to fuck it up. I'm sorry that I wanted to tell you something. I'm sorry that I gave you roses without any thorns just to tell you that I want to be more than your best friend. I'm sorry that you thought I fucked up anyway.

_I'm sorry  
That I was raised with enough respect  
not to sleep with you when you were drunk_

I'm sorry that I didn't sleep with you when you were drunk. I'm sorry that I didn't want to do something you would regret. I was raised with enough respect not to sleep with you when you're in that state. I'm sorry that I only want to make you happy, and I didn't want you to hate me forever. I'm sorry that I care about you.

_I'm sorry  
That my body's not ripped enough  
to "satisfy" your wants_

I'm sorr y that my body isn't ripped. I'm sorry that my body is covered in scars. I'm sorry that I had to spend time with Russia. I'm sorry that I can't satisfy your wants due to physical condition. I was abused and raped. I'm sorry that you can't accept that and understand that I'm trying as hard as I can to make you happy.

_I'm sorry  
that I open your car door,  
and pull out your chair like I was raised_

I'm sorry that I try my hardest to be the best man I can be for you. I'm sorry that I open your car door, and help you out because its the good thing to do. I'm sorry that I'm trying so hard to make you happy and ignoring myself, my needs. I'm sorry that I can't always be as strong you want me to be. Russia made sure of that. I'm sorry you hate me because of someone else.

_I'm sorry  
That I'm not cute enough  
to be "your guy"_

I'm sorry that I'm not the prettyest man you'll ever look at. I'm sorry that I was born an albino. I'm sorry I have red eyes and silver hair. I'm sorry that I don't look good enough to be your guy. I'm sorry I never gave up when I was thinking of you. I almost gave up, but I'm still here. I'm sorry that I tried my hardest to be rejected because of my looks.

_I'm sorry  
That I am actually nice;  
not a jerk_

I'm sorry that I'm trying my best to be who you want me to be. I'm sorry I'm actually nice under the slightly-harsh exterior. I'm sorry I'm not truly a jerk. I'm sorry that I'm as nice to you that is possible and you still don't accept me. You don't see me for who I am. I'm sorry that I like you too much to be cruel.

_I'm sorry  
I don't have a huge bank account  
to buy you expensive things_

I'm sorry that I don't have enough money anymore to buy you the best things there are. I know you understand, but you don't seem to. I'm sorry I get you the best of what I can. I'm sorry I work too many jobs to get you gifts you only reject. I'm sorry I try to help you. I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be.

_I'm sorry  
I like to spend quality nights at home  
cuddling with you, instead of at a club_

I'm sorry that I want to spend time with you. I'm sorry I want to learn about you. I'm sorry I want to help you. I'm sorry that I want to spend my time doing meaningful things with you rather than watching you dance with random strangers. I'm sorry that I can't dance the way you want me to. I'm sorry that I'm too skinny for you. I'm sorry that you don't like me.

_I'm sorry  
I would rather make love to you then just screw you  
like some random guy._

I'm sorry that I don't want to fuck you and leave. I'm sorry that I care about your feelings. I'm sorry that I want to make love to you and not just screw you. I want you to feel good, rather than me. You deserve it, and I don't. I'm sorry that I'm a little brash, and a little weak. I'm sorry Prussia no longer exists so I can't give you a real home.

_I'm sorry  
That I am always the one you need to talk to,  
but never good enough to date_

I'm sorry that I am always the one you come to talk to. I'm sorry you don't trust me enough to date me. I'm sorry I try to make everything the best for you. I'm sorry I can only do what is physically possible. I'm sorry I'm not superman. I'm sorry that you can talk to me all night, but never trust me enough to date.

_I'm sorry  
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,  
but when we went out you went home with another guy_

I'm sorry that I always held you when you threw up. I'm sorry I didn't get mad at you when you puked in my car, time after time. I'm sorry that my car now smells like Febreze to get rid of the smell. I'm sorry my car's too old for you. I'm sorry that whenever we go out, I'm the one helping you there, and never the one taking you home.

_I'm sorry  
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,  
but not good enough for you to listen to me when I need a friend_

I'm sorry that I'm always there. I'm sorry that I pick you up early in the morning when your boyfriend hits you and leaves you in the middle of nowhere. I'm sorry that my car isn't fast enough for you. I'm sorry that when you need a friend, I'm always there, but when I need a friend, I'm not good enough for you to listen to me. I'm sorry if I let you sob your life story to me, and you won't hold me when I break down.

_I'm sorry  
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around_

I'm sorry that I won't always be there for you. I'm sorry it hurts being a door mat. I'm sorry that I'm always thrown to the side when you decide the new boy is better than me. I'm sorry I'm not stopping by as much because it hurts when you kiss in front of me. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the best for you.

_I'm sorry  
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work_

I'm sorry if I stop answering my phone. I'm sorry that when you call, I won't listen to you cry for hours. I'm sorry that I'm going to sleep again. I'm sorry that I can't always talk to you. I'm sorry that I'm just a handkerchief, used and thrown into the rough wash after each boyfriend. I'm sorry that you don't like me but I'm always the one being used.

_I'm sorry  
that you can't realize... I've been the one all along._

I'm sorry that you won't realize that I love you. I'm sorry that when you were looking for love, the only one who really cared was the one standing beside you. I'm sorry that I can't take this anymore. I'm sorry theres a reason for the word awesome. I'm sorry that I'm just insucure and weak and I'm sorry that I'm giving up.

_I'm sorry  
If you read this and know somebody like this  
but don't care_

I'm sorry that if you read this, and know someone like this, but you don't care. I'm sorry that you don't care for anyone but yourself. I'm sorry that I can no longer be the stone pillar with no feelings next to you. I'm sorry I can no longer pretend I have no feelings. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to stick with you.

_But most of all_

_I'm sorry  
For not being sorry anymore_

I'm sorry I'm not sorry anymore. I'm sorry that I gave up. I'm sorry you couldn't care about me anymore. I'm sorry for everything. But most of all, I'm sorry for not being sorry anymore.

_I'm sorry  
That you can't accept me for who I am_

I'm sorry that you can't accept me. I'm sorry that I'm albino and have red eyes and silver hair and white skin. I'm sorry I have the wrong body. I'm sorry that you can't accept my tears. I'm sorry I have to be someone else for you. I'm sorry that I can't be myself. I'm sorry that you can't accept me for being me.

_I'm sorry  
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good  
enough to make it in your world._

I'm sorry that I can't do anything right. I'm sorry I'm just the Prussian fuck up. I'm sorry that nothing I do is good enough for you. I'm sorry that my best isn't good enough to meet your standards. I'm sorry I'm the best friend I can be. I'm sorry that I try my hardest and that you can't even accept me.

_I'm sorry  
I caught your boyfriend with another man and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for..._

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another man and told you about it. I'm sorry that I thought you had to know. I'm sorry I apparently didn't know what friends were for. I'm sorry that I'm not another country. I'm sorry you don't love me.

_I'm sorry  
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it._

I'm sorry that I told you I loved you. I'm sorry that I meant it. I'm sorry I'm in love you. I'm sorry I loved you. I'm sorry that you can't love me back. I'm sorry I love you.

_I'm sorry  
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family._

I'm sorry that I talked to you. I'm sorry I spent my Thanksgiving on the phone with you. I'm sorry that I spent nine hours helping you. I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with my family. I'm sorry I talked to you when your boyfriend was threatining you. I'm sorry you took me from my family. I'm sorry I can't talk to you anymore.

_I'm sorry  
That I cared_

I'm sorry that I cared. I'm sorry that I cared for you so much more than anyone else who wasn't related to you. I'm sorry you hate me. I'm sorry I cared so much about you, there was no time left for me. I'm sorry I did anything for you. I'm sorry your not grateful for anything. I'm sorry I gave up my life for nothing. I'm sorry I cared.

_I'm sorry  
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different_

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night. I'm sorry you wish you could have done something different. I'm sorry that you didn't. I'm sorry that I'm gone. I'm sorry that I'm not who you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that I'm dead.

All versions of Prussia are now gone. There is no Kindom of Prussia, no Prussia, no New Prussia, no New Prussian Empire. Prussia is gone and dead, and those are his words to Spain, the man who loved S. Italy only, and discarded Prussia as a old friend, a broken possession.

ment here...


End file.
